It's a Miserable Life
by Velox
Summary: The Bladebreakers are fighting to save the Hobby Shop from becoming a....gasp!Starbucks. Max accidentally kills someone and casket shopping, mistaken funerals and noisy bedroom chaos ensues. TyKa
1. Chapter 1

**Velox:** OH. HAI. ME AGAIN. With another story. You get 10 points for every innuendo you can spot. Happy reading!

* * *

"Go Dragoon!" Tyson yelled as his beyblade caused a demolishing blow.

"Get him Dranzer!" Kai screamed as the phoenix retaliated.

It was a typical Saturday afternoon at the Granger house. Both opponents gasped for breath as the intense battle drained their strenuous efforts.

Rei yawned as he sat nearby watching the match. It wasn't that the fight was boring—far from it. The neko-jin just hadn't gotten a lot of sleep last night. After a hard session of training, the Bladebreakers usually slept over at Tyson's place.

But lately, there had been some...mysterious noises coming from the world champion's room. _Loud, boisterous noises that could be mistaken for screaming and moaning._

Actually all the racket had started when there wasn't enough room in the guest area and Kai would begrudgingly have to share Tyson's bunk bed. Then Rei and Max were left to fend for themselves against the freakish screeching. Stuffed animals and nursery songs usually helped.

"We're not done yet!" Kai bellowed as the two tops grinded against each other.

"Bring it on! I'm up for anything!" Tyson replied as Dragoon spiralled higher into climax.

**Yup it was all a coincidence. **

Rei felt his eyes droop as his drowsiness began to take over. He found a comfortable spot on the floor and rested on an imaginary pillow. The Chinese blader didn't know which he was more tired of: the random bouts of narcolepsy or having to come up with a different explanation to tell a naive, innocent Max as to what Kai and Tyson were doing.

Yesterday it had been videogames and the night before, they had been watching the Exorcist.

Yes.

Tyson and Kai were only playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

ALL. FRICKING. NIGHT. LONG.

"How can you guys battle at a time like this?!" Max said angrily.

Rei awoke to the sight of an irritated blond glaring at two stunned beybladers forced to pause their fight.

"Geez Max what's your problem?" Tyson asked.

Max sighed and explained, "Come with me and I'll show you my problem. If we're lucky it won't hit us with the cane!"

Kai and Tyson exchanged the same puzzled look and recalled back their beyblades (seriously do they have magnets in their hands or something?)

The two boys reluctantly followed Max as he dragged a semi comatose Rei out of the house. The Bladebreakers walked a good distance until they reached what seemed to be a gigantic mass of angry people and petitioners.

"You can't get rid of it! No way!"

"This is absurd. Who does he think he is?"

"This town needs the..."

**"_HOBBY SHOP?!"_**

"My dad's Hobby Shop," Max specified.

The crowd continued to chant and cheer for the preservation of the beloved store. Having residents of a world champion team caused the townspeople to appreciate and care for the sport of beyblading even more.

"But it's so important for beybladers to be able to get the right parts for their blades!" Tyson said.

"If Kenny wasn't in America with my mom and dad at the BBA facility, I'm sure he would be right here fighting with us!" Max said.

The chance to be around high tech research equipment was too great to resist for the little nerd.

"But who would be so...heartless? _So...cruel?_ Who would want to get rid of the Hobby Shop?" Rei added, finally conscious.

"Fred Klaxton's the name!"

The team turned to the direction of the voice. The reply came from an elderly man with thinning grey hair who was only able to stand with the help of a walking cane.

He must have been 'the problem'

"I find this hobby shop a complete detriment to this town," Fred stated brutally, "We're better off demolishing it for a better establishment!"

"Hey wait a minute! I know you!" Tyson interrupted, "You live across the street from me don't you?!"

"Hmph that's right." Fred smirked. He turned to the disgusted mob and said, "I propose that we lose _Holly Hobby Shop_ for a....."

Fred magically took off the covers and unveiled a shining sign that read,

"**STARBUCKS?!"**

"We've been so busy with all the training, tournaments and travelling, I forgot you even moved in," Tyson continued guiltily.

"Yes a Starbucks!!" Fred yelled with an anger vein on his forehead "With the economic crisis, this wobbly store is draining on the town's profits. Tourists come to see the famous bladers, not the actual toys anymore. This coffee franchise will boost credibility and this Hobby Store would have closed down for bankruptcy sooner than later."

"Besides," Fred transfixed a deathly wrinkled stare at Tyson, "with all the noisy ramblings from your place, we could all use a good cup of coffee!"

Tyson and Kai both gave startled reactions and crossed their arms in response, blushing.

"But this is my dad's business! It's more than just beyblades, this is our life!" Max argued "He trusted me to take care of the store while he was away! Now he's gonna come back to find some pimply dude asking him how many caramel macchiatos he wants with his sandwich?"

"Haven't you thought about what this could to me? To us?" Max said encompassing his team members. Other beybladers in the crowd nodded in agreement.

"Pssh, what do I care? Your spinning tops aren't anything important." Fred replied defiantly "Teams don't mean anything. I live alone because I like it. I have no use for people, never have probably never will!"

The old man turned to the sign toting petitioners and said "You'll all be sipping on grand chai lattes in no time!"

And with that Fred Klaxton walked off, attempting to dodge the cans and random vegetables being thrown at him.

* * *

"Ugh! I can't believe that guy! And that this whole thing is even happening." Tyson ranted.

The Bladebreakers were back at the Granger dojo, going over what had just occurred. It was also a mutual consensus that Tyson not giving Mr. Klaxton a housewarming gift was a good thing.

"That Fred Klaxton is one rotten jerk," Kai piped in "He gives loners like me a bad name."

"From the scene today, it seems the whole neighbourhood hates him," Tyson stated.

"I'm sure if we tried to talk some sense into that meanie, we could get him to stop this whole charade," Rei reasoned.

Max grinned his usual puppy smile "I'll just use some of my indelible charm. It has yet to fail!"

"............................."

"Bribing works too."

* * *

**Velox:** LOL at spell-check. When I wrote 'bladers' they changed it to 'bladders'

So many how innuendo points did you get?

An extra 500 to whoever can explain the magical hand recall abilities the characters have.


	2. Chapter 2

**Velox**: Yes you can still play the innuendo game.

* * *

"He's coming! He's coming!"

The Granger dojo was a complete mess with its inhabitants slowly recuperating from the night before. Tyson rushed to tidy things up in the scattered room while Max frantically panicked over how to tastefully style his hair. Rei felt the crushing impact of a feather pillow that had been thrown at his face.

"Wake up Sleeping Beauty! He's coming!!"

The half dead neko-jin struggled to lift off the pillow and mustered up all his strength to utter, "Who's coming?"

"Fred Klaxton aka Antichrist Superstar!" Tyson replied.

Rei collapsed back into his comforters and was harassed with the question, "What are you doing?!"

"Going back to bed. If the Apocalypse is coming, I'd rather die peacefully."

Tyson looked around the room for something else to whip at him.

Outside the house, Kai was in his usual, comfortable state of brooding. He was contemplating other replies besides "Hmph" and "Hn." Those could only annoy Tyson for so long. Those had served him well before, but now he was ready for a change. Kai Hiwatari was ready for.....

The glass of water shook.

WTF?

Again.

The glass of water shook again.

Kai stood dumbfounded as the glass of water he had beside him shook again. And again! Which meant...something wicked this way was going to blow! (Haha innuendo!) This was usually the part in movies when the ominous music cued in signalling the approach of a foul creature.

Or at least that's how it went in Jurassic Park.

"Kids these days have no respect for their elders."

"Zombie Jesus," Kai thought "it's worse than a T-Rex."

Fred Klaxton stood outside the Granger house with his usual expression of grouchiness. Max and Tyson scrambled to the entrance upon sensing the arrival of darkness. That and it was exactly 12:30 pm, the time their neighbour was invited to come.

"Leaving me here waiting," Fred grumbled "how rude and impolite!"

"Yes God forbid you linger in a doorway for 15 seconds," Tyson muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Er—nothing..."

"We saw you at the protest before." Kai said.

"I don't know if you remember us. I'm Tyson and he's Kai." The world champion held out his hand in an attempt to be friendly.

"Oh," Fred said with a cheeky smirk "I didn't recognize you two with your clothes on."

"WHAT?!" both teens exclaimed aghast. The withered senior chuckled and explained, "With my binoculars, I have a pretty good view into your bedroom window. Actually I think some of the positions you do are illegal, I'm looking into it!"

"You miserable old-"

Tyson fought to hold Kai back as Rei went up to speak. "We haven't been formally introduced. I'm Rei Kon."

"Yeah," Fred answered unenthusiastically "you're the one with** nothing** going on in his bedroom."

"Why you miserable old-"

"Guys guys! He didn't come here to bicker!" Max yelled breaking up the arguments.

"Then what did he come here for?" Kai inquired.

"I came here for what **you** promised!" Fred stated as he stared intently at the blond American.

"Max no! Don't sink to that level!" Tyson pleaded, "You don't need to..."

"Give me my pastries!" the elderly man demanded.

"Uh...what?"

Max came out with a luxurious array of desserts: exotic breads, colourful cupcakes rich in sweet decorations, colossal donuts, cookies of every shape topped with rich icing and sugar, cakes that must have been handcrafted by the gods; the narrator would continue but has developed a severe drooling problem.

Fred cracked what seemed to be a satisfied smile. As the basket of delicious confections was put into his hands, the existence of the teens around him seemed to disappear.

"But now it's settled." Max announced "I gave you the pastries and now you'll leave the Hobby Shop alone."

Fred chomped into a fruit Danish. "No!"

"But...you promised!" Max looked like a puppy who had been smacked by a newspaper. The old man cackled and in doing so sprayed a waterfall of crumbs on those misfortunate enough to be standing by.

"I didn't mean it! I only said that so you'd give me the food and stop crank calling my house every hour! Yeah right I'll leave it alone. I hate toys, especially those Bey-thingies. Toys and that Hobby Shop only serve to attract more kids. I don't want those kinda people around my town!"

Kai motioned back towards the garden and his bedroom buddy Tyson asked, "Where are you going?"

"To get some holy water. If his head spins around and he pukes up pea soup, we're in trouble."

Fred Klaxton made his way out of the Granger residence, clutching his prized delicacies in tow. Max let out a frustrated groan and raced to reason with Tyson's neighbour.

"But I thought I changed your mind!" Max cried out. "I thought I made a difference and maybe deep down inside you were actually a good person."

Both the old and the young stopped dead in the middle of the street to turn to each other.

"Look kid," Fred bellowed, "not everyone is the miracle angel you believe in. The only thing I hate worse than toys and people walking on my lawn, are idiots who think there's some good in everyone. There isn't! You think all loners like me just need kind words and some compassion and we'll magically transform. Well it doesn't work! Stop believing in delusional fantasies and grow some balls!"

"THAT IS IT!"

Max's boiling frustration erupted into a frenzy of rage.

"I've had it up to here with your bitchy attitude! I've tried my hardest to reason with you and you've done nothing but be a stingy old timer!"

Tyson, Kai and Rei stood at the sidelines watching the rare spectacle that was a pissed off Max. It was quite a sight to behold.

"Now that Hobby Shop is there to stay so you can just forget about putting in that Starbucks! No one gives a flying garbage can what you think! _Nobody likes you!_ In fact everyone_ hates_ you! So why don't you do us all a favour and just drop dead!"

And with that the American boy threw his Draciel beyblade right at the top of Fred Klaxton's head. Max turned and stomped away just as a loud thud was heard.

"OMG MR. KLAXTON!"

The boys ran to the old senior as he lay collapsed on the ground with Draciel next to him. Rei lifted up his head as Tyson checked for any vital signs. Kai raised Fred's wrists to where his actual pulse was!

"So the stomach doesn't have a heartbeat?" Tyson uttered cluelessly.

"What's wrong with Mr. Klaxton?" Max asked fearfully.

"Remember when you told him to drop dead?"

"Yeah"

"He finally listened."


	3. Chapter 3

**Velox:** Wow what kind of emo loser googles and researches coffins? Oh wait **I** did n___n That's one to put in the diary. Read and review plz kthxbai

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The water boiler screeched an ungodly sound signalling the completion of the warming process. Max Tate glanced half-heartedly at the kitchen clock and saw that it was 2:35 am. Usually the teen would be awake at this hour because of strange screaming but the past few days had been different.

"**Why do people die?**" Max thought grimly. Maybe one day he would also figure out why fools fall in love.

The blond took a sip of tea and sighed at the infernal ticking—indicating the wasted minutes he had lost and others would never get back.

"Max! What are you still doing up?!"

At the call of his name Max turned to see Rei standing by the kitchen door with both hands on his hips. The neko-jin's attempt to look menacing failed due to his bright blue pyjamas ornate with various cats. Although his Tokyo Mew Mew night clothes were also pretty bad.

"Why do you think?" Max answered gloomily. "I killed him Rei. Mr. Klaxton is dead because of me."

"He was 86 years old. The paramedics said it wasn't your fault." Rei reasoned. "Fred Klaxton suffered from frequent head injuries leading him to experience multiple headaches. That explains why he was always so cranky and grumpy. He probably read somewhere that coffee helped headaches thus the Starbucks thing."

"That beyblade was just another vegetable amongst the other usual list of things being thrown at him."

The Chinese and American bladers veered to see Kai helping himself to the prepared hot water.

"You need to put this behind you Max." Kai continued whilst putting a tea bag in a cup. "It was in the past. You killed Mr. Klaxton two days ago."

Max slammed his head unto the table as Rei frantically said, "Just go to the funeral and have a good cry!"

"There isn't going to be a funeral." Max stated. "Mr. Klaxton didn't have a friend or a close relative in the world! He was a mean loner just like he had said. His body should just be left in a field for the vultures to dance on."

"Oh. That's too bad," Rei expressed, "Hey Kai, is Tyson done with my Shaman King DVDs?" Kai shook his head at Rei's question as Max conveyed a look of disbelief.

"How could you guys be so callous?" Max said to his indifferent roommates. "Wouldn't you be upset if no one showed up to your funeral?"

"I think actually dropping dead would be a bigger issue for me," Kai replied.

The kitchen door swung open and the fourth champion entered the forum of intelligent discussion. Tyson was in his usual custom made Dragoon pyjamas but now with a brand new accessory—he was also wearing a widow's mourning veil. In black.

"Wow a slumber party," Tyson exclaimed, "I hope I'm dressed for it."

"WHY ARE YOU WEARING A VEIL?!" Rei questioned. "You can barely stagger around with it on."

"This veil is handy for disguises. Like.....when purchasing certain 'items' at a.....store." Tyson explained inconspicuously as Kai slapped his own face in embarrassment. He fumbled and stumbled unto the seat next to the dual haired Russian and assured them saying, "Don't worry I can see fine."

"Who's the black guy?" Tyson asked pointing to Rei. Kai ignored his stupid whisper.

"We were discussing Mr. Klaxton's funeral," Max said.

"Oh yeah when is it?" Tyson inquired, "I wanna pay my respects."

"You mean you actually want to go?" Rei asked surprised. Tyson nodded and said, "Of course. Grandpa always said that no matter how wretched or despicable the deceased one may have been, those that are still living have to be courteous. We have to give that old geezer a funeral! _It's the right thing to do!"_

Tyson's last words struck the Bladebreakers hard as they all sat in contemplation.

"Besides," Tyson added, "Mr. Klaxton would probably haunt us from beyond the grave if we didn't do something."

"That settles it!" Max declared, "We're going down to that funeral home first thing tomorrow!" Rei and Kai looked at each other with the same level of helplessness before finally giving in.

"Fine!" Rei said while Kai nodded his head in reluctant agreement.

"As if you had a choice," Tyson said, "I'd have locked you up and thrown away the key!" Both Tyson and Max laughed heartily at the joke as Kai grabbed his cup of tea and stormed out of the room.

Rei sat in his chair nervously suddenly remembering Tyson's ownership of a pair of handcuffs and ignoring the burning curiosity as to where he obtained them.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Bladebreakers gaped as they sat in the dreary confines of the Pfeiffer funeral home. The boys were assembled in the waiting room free to receive withering glares from the stingy secretary. They in turn were forced to stare at the unusual paintings of stick figures and striped wallpaper. Several other workers passing by gave the teens confused and questioning looks. Before Rei was ready to walk out and escape the house of dead people, a middle aged man with glasses dressed in a black suit walked in and asked "Is this the Granger party?"

"YES IT IS!" replied the entire team happy to finally flee from Medusa's gaze. The secretary noisily fixed sheets of paper as she pretended not to glance at the boys following the man out of the waiting room.

"We're so happy you took the time to speak with us," Max said as they were lead into another area. The group was greeted by an enormous array of caskets and coffins arranged accordingly. It was like being a vampire in a blood bank although none of the beybladers were too excited to go shopping.

"Yeah it's really nice of you to meet with us...." Tyson stated and looked at the man's nametag, "Mr. Feiffer."

"Oh no the 'P' isn't silent," The funeral director corrected, "It's pronounced **P-feiffer**."

"Ok...uh...Mr. P-feiffer," Tyson uttered awkwardly, "We have to plan a p-funeral for P-Fred Klaxton....gah...er...dah..FUNERAL!"

The funeral director ignored his embarrassing stutters as Tyson attempted to put his foot in his mouth.

"I see." Mr. P-feiffer acknowledged as he turned to stare intently at Kai. "Preparing for father?"

The Russian scowled his cruellest glare as P-feiffer quickly opted to take back his words.

"I'm sorry I thought with your gray hair and you being the tallest..."

"**Hey P-feiffer how would you like a punch in your p-face?!**" Kai threatened.

"About the arrangements," Tyson interrupted. "This is actually for our neighbour." Mr. P-feiffer's expression turned from fear to one of deep earnest. "My sincerest apologies." He solemnly said.

"That's ok. We all hated him." Rei replied.

"How did he die?"

"He killed him." Kai said pointing to Max.

"Look we just need a respectable ceremony with a decent, quaint casket that will do Mr. Klaxton justice!" Max specified.

"Something charming. Something modern...something..." Rei suggested.

"Something cheap." Kai included bluntly.

"Well we have lovely new shipment of the Rosewood right here." Mr. P-feiffer directed them to a half couch magenta coffin by the corner of the room. "It has a sturdy base with an ivory finish, rust proof handles, as well as a durable casing. Ideal for..."

"How much?" Tyson interrupted.

"Really this Rosewood is of top notched quality. The finest casket around. Anyone would simply die at the thought of being..."

"We're not burying Batman how much?" Tyson yelled assertively.

"$3000"

The beybladers barely managed to even make a squeak.

"Kenny's glasses didn't cost that much!"

"That's an outrage! What do you got that's cheaper?"

Mr. P-feiffer aggressively closed the lid on the Rosewood and turned to veer and speak to his customers, "A funeral is a sacred and honored ceremony that binds together both the living and the dead. It is one that deals with emotional tidings, vows, regrets and most importantly goodbyes. It is the last chance an individual has to be received by the world he once knew. This is more than just a coffin! This will be your neighbor's sanctuary from here unto the afterlife!"

"I suppose we could just dump his body in a ditch. We wouldn't get in trouble everyone in town would probably help us." The Bladebreakers agreed in unison, completely disregarding Mr. P-feiffer's previous speech.

The funeral director sighed and walked towards a small little coffin barely noticeable amongst the selection of other models.

"The Pinebox. $100."

"DEAL!" Tyson exclaimed finalizing the sale. Mr. P-feiffer took out his schedule book and wrote in the Klaxton funeral reception. "Now can I put you in for Monday?"

"We're busy!"

"Hell-to-the-no!"

"Not Monday no way!"

"Sorry I forgot." Mr. P-feiffer realized. "Gossip Girl is on." The boys nodded in reply to his assumption.

"What about Wednesday?"

"Do you have a TV guide we can check?" Tyson asked. Rei waved his hand and stated "Wednesday's fine." Mr. Pfeiffer wrote in the details and closed the book when he was finished. The funeral director smiled and thanked the boys for their time as he walked back into his office. Amongst the silent army of coffins the beybladers were left to their thoughts.

Primarily, the hopes that the p-future p-funeral wouldn't phail.


	4. Chapter 4

**Velox:** Apparently I'm a monster for attempting to make funeral processions seem comedic. All in a day's work then! Read and review or this'll happen to you. If you're lucky that is. And hey that rhymed.

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"OOWWW!!!"

Tyson took a step back as he clumsily grasped to figure out his surroundings. He was shrouded in a black atmosphere that distorted his vision. The teen could only sense the motion of people and objects surrounding him.

"OOPS SORRY!"

"Oh! My bad!"

"Damn.....uh...is that you Kai?" Awkward hands clamped unto the closest body and fumbled over it until they reached a special area known as 'Rei's ass.'

**"That isn't Kai's!"** Tyson exclaimed.

"What the—Tyson!!" Rei blushed up a storm as he edged away from the blind molester. Couldn't he wait until _after the funeral_ to grope people?

"Geez it was an accident," Tyson apologized, "I CANT...SEE...ANYTHING...WITH THIS...THING ON!" The cause for Tyson's blindness was sitting on his head and covering his entire face. No matter how hard he adjusted and turned the widow's mourning veil, things still looked dark and disfigured.

"It's a funeral and we're supposed to be grieving. What else was I supposed to wear?" Tyson reasoned.

"A nice black hat would have sufficed," Kai said flipping his long black scarf.

Those with proper vision could see that the Bladebreakers were the only ones present at Fred Klaxton's funeral service. It was being held at Haruki cemetery with a closed casket waiting to be buried. The procession had started over an hour ago and not one living soul had bothered to show up. Everything was starting off wrong right down to the weather. It was a bright sunny day and usually pathetic fallacy teaches us that it should have been raining wet.

"What a tragedy," Max whimpered.

"Yeah we struggled into skin tight dark suits and no one else even got to see them," Kai responded disappointingly.

"There was an announcement in the paper and on the P-feiffer Funeral Home website," Max recalled, "People must have realized he died. Why didn't anyone show up?"

"They were too busy celebrating," Rei thought.

The beybladers waited patiently and each sat down on a row of chairs that had been left out. After another aimless and quiet hour passed Tyson let out an exasperated sigh. He angrily ripped off the veil and threw it unto the ground revealing his messed up bangs.

"Ok that's it!" Tyson resolved. "I'm sick of waiting here for the mass of people not coming. Let's go."

The rest of the team nodded their heads reluctantly and sat up. Just as the boys were ready to make their way out of the cemetery, an elderly woman in a black pantsuit rushed towards the gathering. She headed straight for the grave and turned to the group of bladers huddled together.

"Hello, I'm Celia Nori," The woman said introducing herself, "I hope I'm not too late."

"Uh...no not at all." Max lied.

Celia gazed longingly at the casket and revelled, "He was one of my oldest and dearest friends. I...just..wanted _one last chance_ to say goodbye..."

"Would you like to say a few words about him?" Max suggested.

The woman hesitated and then finally gave in saying, "If there's no other orators present."

Tyson immediately looked at Kai who explained that 'an orator' was **someone who gave** **speeches**. It wasn't the 'type of job' Tyson had been thinking of.

Celia Nori got up in front of the casket and the Bladebreakers sat down to listen. Surely there had to have been more to Fred Klaxton than he had lead them to believe.

"It is a sad day for all mankind. Not only have we lost one of our greatest and dearest friends but we also have to deal with the disappointing eyesore that is this casket." Celia glanced at the pinebox and sobbed a few short cries. "He was a great benefit to the world and ensured that it became a better place. I'm sure many people never even knew that he helped in a leper colony for 4 years or that he was the one who cancelled Star Trek. Most importantly he donated most of his life savings to the children's hospital and funded their projects."

"HE HELPED LEPERS?!"

"He liked children?!!"

"**HE HAD A FRIEND?!?" **

"Yes." Celia Nori continued with no notice of the beybladers' comments. "It is a tragic day indeed. Albert Lewis was a compassionate and trus—"

"**WHO?!"** Tyson interrupted.

"Albert Lewis." Celia innocently repeated.

"This funeral isn't for Albert Lewis it's for Fred Klaxton!" Max stated.

"The Lewis service is scheduled for tomorrow." Mr. P-feiffer said suddenly appearing from out of the trees.

"Oh!" Celia Nori realized. "Fred Klaxton? Wasn't he the one who lived next to the Granger dojo?"

"Yes." And with that resolute reply, the elderly woman kicked the coffin with such brute force that it almost completely tumbled over. The sister of the travelling pantsuit daintily made her way out as the Bladebreakers sat motionless in their chairs.

While the rest of the team struggled to cope with what had just happened, Rei got up to say his last respects. While he certainly hadn't been fond of the old geezer, he figured what Tyson had said about courteous obligations was true. Rei stood at the casket and contemplated about the disparity of death. An overwhelming feeling took over his body and consumed his mind. Was it guilt? No. Sadness? Maybe. Anxiety? That wasn't it.

He could hardly find the words to describe the sensation. It was strange....powerful...and...

It was Rei's narcolepsy was kicking in.

"Oh crap."

The Chinese beyblader fell in the open grave intended for Mr. Klaxton.

"WHAT THE HELL? Christ Rei!" Tyson and Kai frantically scrambled to rescue their sunken teammate. Max, on the other hand, was preoccupied with the depressing outcome of the barren funeral.

"We did all we could. Mr. Klaxton is in someone else's hands now." The blond blader decided.

"And for the moment he's in mine." Mr. P-feiffer piped in. He was holding a snow white urn along with a look of severe discomfort on his face.

"Um...what's in there?" Max asked.

"Fred Klaxton is."

"But I thought he was the only body in there!" Max pointed to the coffin and glanced down at the deep grave. Rei was snoring away whilst completely covered in dirt. Kai and Tyson were devising ways to get him out without the basic necessities of rope, smoke signals and the entire crew of the Titanic rescue mission.

"Mr. Klaxton wasn't meant to be cremated." Mr. P-feiffer explained. "It was all a terrible mistake. I knew we shouldn't have hired a high school student!"

_"MAN REI IS HEAVY!"_

_"I gave him a piggyback ride before during the China tournament. We should remind him to lay off the pie!"_

"My sincerest apologies." Mr. P-feiffer said to Max. "We ensure no disrespect to Mr. Klaxton's honor."

_"Eww Kai there's a worm over there!"_

_"It saw your face and burrowed away. Help me get Rei up!"_

_"How long are we gonna be down here? I don't want to stink!"_

_"Too late."_

_"What does that mean?"_

_"Nothing! Can we get back to saving Rip Van Winkle over here?"_

_"Fine. But we better hurry before it becomes Mr. Klaxton's grave: party of two. Population: Rei and Fred. "_

"This is a one of a kind cloisonné urn." Mr. P-feiffer pitched. "Imported from China with intricate enamel filling and polished silver finishing. This would run you for about $105 but because of recent circumstances I'll give it to you for a mere $95."

Max stood dumbfounded at such a bargain. The stereotype at him being blond, young and stupid was in effect.

"I'm not paying a cent for your urn. You can dump Mr. P-feiffer's ashes in a water bottle for all I care!"

Before Mr. P-feiffer could react to such an outburst Max snatched the urn from his hands and ran away. The funeral director merely watched as a grief stricken little boy raced off clutching the cause of his demise. Max wanted only to escape from the dismal confines of the cemetery. Mr. P-feiffer looked around the empty chairs and finally settled on **not** adding the urn to the bill.

"Feet first Kai! We have to push him with his feet up!" Tyson yelled.

"We can't push Rei by his head! We could damage his brain...MORE!" Kai screamed back.

"Maybe you can use your scarf as a lasso and Max can just drag him out!" Tyson proposed.

"You mean if I don't choke you with my scarf first!" Kai shouted.

Mr. P-feiffer gathered up his belongings and sighed at the outcome of events. "What a tragedy. But at least I wasn't the only one who saw the skin tight suits those boys were wearing." He shuddered as he walked along the path leading outside Haruki cemetery.

"Max will help us get out of here!"

"Hn. Sure."

"He will! Won't you Max?"

Kai grabbed and turned Rei's body so his head was facing up. Tyson continued to cry out to the silence.

"Max Tate!! Maxie! Max! Uh...Max are you still there? ANSWER ME MAX!!!"

**"Looks like its going to be Klaxton's grave: party of four."**


	5. Chapter 5

Max couldn't stop running. The beyblader felt his body aching and pleading him to take a break from the extreme exercise.

But he couldn't.

His mind overpowered all other senses and urged him to continue on. The journey was dark but the path to the light of the tunnel drew nearer. Max ignored all other distractions and focused on the road ahead. He dodged the canes trying to hit him while running past the animated, dancing vegetables. After he crossed the hallway of laughing masks, Max reached the lighted room he had been transfixed by. The area was empty except for a single spotlighted coffin at the center of the room.

Without a moment of hesitation, Max unlatched the bolt and opened the casket. His eyes grew wide and a gasp was released from his mouth. The truth stood before him.

Finally.

Max awoke from his dream to have the ungodly sight of Tyson's face staring directly at him.

**"MOTHEREF-"**

The blond boy refrained from swearing so he could start breathing again. Tyson had been hovering over him with great intensity and proximity.

"Any closer and I can count your bacteria!" Max exclaimed. "How long have you been watching me sleep?"

"10 minutes." Tyson answered calmly. "And don't flatter yourself thinking I was counting your breaths. I'm not creepy like Edward." The navy haired teen grabbed and threw Max's blankets away from him adding, "It looked like you were having a nightmare."

"Nothing will ever be as bad as the microscopic view into your nostrils." Max replied, feeling cold and empty without his comforters.

"Did you hear any screaming or howling noises last night?" Tyson asked.

"No," Max said, "My new earplugs totally block off the creepy sounds from your room."

"I didn't hear any creepy noises." The two boys turned to see Kai standing by the doors that lead to the outside garden. He was back from his daily brooding. "Hear them? You usually make them," Max muttered making his way to the bathroom.

"I'm serious guys! This isn't a joke!" Tyson cried, "I think old man Klaxton is haunting us from beyond the afterlife."

"Maybe he's calling to thank us for the great grave party," Kai suggested, "I still feel 'unclean' from being trapped in there too long."

"It's a good thing those grave robbers heard our pleas for help!" Tyson said, "By the time nightfall set in and the owls were hooting, I was ready to engrave my will in the mud."

"Those were unusually nice grave robbers—well compared to most other criminals," Kai stated, "Do you remember how they told us Klaxton helped to shut down their other business?"

"Desecrating his grave is clearly the most mature way to get revenge," Tyson joked, "Behind the V for Vendetta Guy Fawkes masks, they did seem awfully familiar."

"But they saved you."

Tyson faced Max as he came out of the bathroom and replied, "When someone else left!" The American blader had changed out of his Pikachu pajamas into another one of his regular orange attires. Tyson was still bitter at being abandoned in the grave with the scary worm.

Max merely grinned and reasoned, "Sorry! I did what I had to do to save my dad's Hobby Shop." He opened the sliding door and turned to his other teammates, "Are you guys coming or what?"

Kai and Tyson experienced a déjà vu moment of them being dragged to the Tate owned store. The incident was the same except for one major difference. Their favorite narcoleptic neko-jin was MIA. The Hobby Shop remained intact and untouched. The place was deserted with no construction workers or plans in sight. The beybladers were also happy to see an absence of pimply guys asking for orders of caramel macchiatos.

"So…is it really here to stay?" Tyson asked.

"You bet!" Rei announced smiling and fully conscious, "I just came back from clearing things up with the town officials. They said there isn't going to be any expenditures happening with the store!"

The pandemonium of noisy yelling was loud enough to be heard by the people in Australia. Tyson cheered and declared, "And it's all because of you Max!"

"Actually it's all thanks to Mr. Klaxton!" The cheering halted as the team processed the last unbelievable statement. Many Australians were relieved to not go deaf from the Bladebreakers' screaming.

"WHAT DID THAT OLD GEEZER DO?!"

"It was his ashes!" Max explained and pointed to the bulging patch of ground by the side of the Hobby Shop, "I made a cremation green burial for Fred Klaxton's ashes here!"

Tyson, Kai and Rei each made a silent vow to never go near that location again.

"Now this property is Mr. Klaxton's final resting place." Max continued, unaware of the mutual team decision to order an exorcism for the Hobby's Shop, "They can't do any construction to the store at all. That would disrespectful."

Max smiled and unlocked the door to the salvaged shop. The teens entered and looked around with a newfound glory.

"Soak it in guys! We're on top of Mr. Klaxton right now!" Max said blissfully. Tyson and Rei winced as they tried to fake happy grins at the disturbing news. Kai shuddered when he understood the deeper meaning of Max's sentence.

"The old man finally did a good deed. It took 86 years and a beyblade blow of death but Mr. Klaxton finally did a good deed." Rei proclaimed and took a sip of coffee. The Olympic mental champions that were his teammates finally noticed the cause for Rei's alertness.

"**Is that……Starbucks?!**"

"This coffee really does help me stay awake," Rei said.

"But how?" Max questioned, "If not the Hobby Shop where would there be a Starbucks?!"

"It opened up on the corner of Zutto Avenue. Apparently that spot used to be some weird adult store," Rei shared, "Word on the street is that the owners also had **deep vendettas **against Mr. Klaxton. The store didn't have much profit and apparently only had two regular customers."

"I think I know what you're talking about!" Max realized. "My dad passed by that block a lot to go grocery shopping. He told me how he would always see the same wacky individuals wearing strange accessories: black ski masks, turbans, top hats, even veils." He turned to Tyson who looked like he was ready to erupt. "But it's no surprise they would wear costumes. They must have been really ashamed to even go to that gross store!"

"_What do you mean gross?!_" Tyson shouted, "How old are you Max? It's an adult store not a kitty killing district. It was a business just like your Hobby Shop!"

"Don't compare my place to that nasty X rated store!" Max yelled, "I bet we made a lot more profit than them!"

"Just because they had a few customers doesn't mean the store didn't matter! Those 2 loyal people are just as important!" Tyson debated.

Max stood dumbfounded and surprised at Tyson's persistence to argue. The hat wearing teen continued to bicker and make up reasons while the blond was forced to defend his establishment.

Tired of hearing such aimless quarrelling, Rei walked away to search for the garbage can. He finally found a disposal in the back room when he spotted Kai on the store's computer. From a distance, things on a screen can be easily misunderstood or misjudged. That was the delusional justification Rei told himself when he went to throw out his empty coffee cup. Rei repeated this excuse to himself as he tried to erase the image of Kai's EBay ad saying, "**HANDCUFFS CHEAP AND EASY, OWNER WILL HAGGLE AND DO MORE IF YOU'RE LUCKY =D**" from his subconscious.

**THE END.**

**Velox**: I can only imagine the insane riot of fangirls who would answer Kai's EBay ad n___n And the look of disappointment on their faces when they see that the handcuffs have already been used. SEVERAL TIMES.

Thank you for reading!


End file.
